Prince Charming on the Autism Spectrum – Guidelines for my Daughter’s Next Boyfriend

All moms hope their daughters will meet Prince Charming.  Why should an autism mom be any different? Luckily Samantha attracts more than her fair share of young men, most of whom are on the autism spectrum. What I’m hoping is that she meets (and chooses!) someone who is truly her equal, with complementary strengths, shared passions and a similar education and background.  (He doesn’t have to be a movie star like Samantha, but it wouldn’t hurt). Of course, I realize my version of Prince Charming might not be exactly the same as my daughter’s or vice versa. Still a few guidelines and hints for potential suitors and match makers might help make my daughter’s dreams come true.

In April, when our family was invited to Israel for screenings of Keep the Change, we visited the Wailing Wall where Samantha wished for a new boyfriend.  Here’s MY wish list for her (which I think she’d also like, even if she wouldn’t be bold enough to ask).

1. Mr. Wonderful-on-the-Spectrum should ideally be no more than five years older than Samantha, who is turning 28. Exceptions can be made for movie stars and true Princes.
2. He must live in NYC or be willing to commute HERE.
3. A college graduate from any school anywhere.
4. Be her friend first. Someone who is willing to take the time to get to know Samantha and let a romance unfold at her
5. Kind and gentle. No stalkers, please.
6. Someone who showers daily, who is clean and well-groomed. Must live in a home without bedbugs.
7. A man who communicates as well or better than my daughter.
8. Preferably someone with a job or who isn’t broke.
9. A man who will encourage and support Samantha as an actress and singer, show up for all of her performances, and bring her flowers on opening night.
10. Someone who is healthy and pursues a healthy lifestyle. No couch potatoes who are allergic to exercise.
11. A grown-up. No momma’s boys who need a parent to police their relationships.
12. Someone who is punctual and considerate. Samantha HATES it when people are late.  She is always on time or early for all meetings.
13. He must be patient and willing to accept Samantha for who she is, because she is willing to do the same for her partner.
14. Treat her as an equal. Take good care of her but don’t overprotect her (if you value your life).

Hopefully, I haven’t scared away all suitors (just the unsuitable). As Samantha’s character Sarah in Keep the Change says: “There are lots of fish in the sea swimming up to me.” Yes, there are plenty of sharks, whales, guppies, etc. Finding the right one? Not so easy-peasy. But Mr. Right-for-Samantha must be hiding somewhere. Come out, come out wherever you are.